I’m pretty sure everyone worries a bit much every now and then.
Well, I sometimes worry a lot all of the time.
I worry that I’m annoying some of my friends with daily chats on facebook and sending them videos and ranting to them and telling them how much I miss them and chatting about just random things.
I don’t like to think that I’m annoying.
But maybe I am.
I don’t know.
Do you ever get the feeling that people run away from you?
Sometimes, I see the “online” button next to my friends’ names on facebook, and I get all happy and then send them messages in hopes that they’ll chat with me, then I’ll open a tumblr tab while I wait, and when I check a minute or two later that friend will no longer be online.
maybe I’m just overthinking this.
Maybe I just need to run away from the internet for a while and just… I don’t know.
Run away from the people I want to be with.
I could just be worried over nothing and be blowing things out of proportion.
But I…don’t know.
I’m scared and sad and tired.
The good thing about today was that I swam.
Mikey and I were testing how long we could stay underwater without resurfacing.
Today I learned that I can sink to the bottom of the pool at the community centre, and I also realized that if I stay down there long enough, I could let myself drown.
That I could just open my mouth and let water in.
Or I could just inhale water through my nose when I’ve run out of air.
I’m pretty sure I won’t let that happen.